As of late, winter seems like less of a season and more of an old, forced acquaintance that stops by every other week, dirtying your floors and running up your heating bill, leaving behind an inordinate amount of useless salt in meager compensation. Should this fair-weather friend ever extend its stay, its hosts might find themselves stuck in a four-foot drift of winter doldrums. Don’t fret, though. Your Mountain Times staff, sworn to battle boredom, has just the remedy, and we promise it won’t dirty up your car. Here are some of our favorite ways to beat the winter doldrums.

Mark Mitchell: Time of the Season

While Mark Mitchell enjoys winter weather, Sgt. Schultz cannot help but recall Col. Klink’s repeated threats concerning the Russian front.

Cry, sleep, watch endless reruns of “Hogan’s Heroes,” while tunneling through buckets of cookie dough ice cream. No, I am happy to inform you that things have not headed in that direction. You see, I actually enjoy winter. Notice I did not use the word “love” because the “L” word does not sum up my feelings for 50 mile-per-hour winds, black ice and having to wash my black car once a day so that it does not look gray. But, “enjoy” is the word I would use. I enjoy a change in seasons. I enjoy the beauty of an afternoon snow. I enjoy these things even more after spending eight years of my life in south Florida. You have two seasons in Palm Beach, Fla. – hot and ridiculously hot. There’s no mystery, no expectations for the upcoming climate change. And snow, well you see it all the time down there; it’s just on television.

If the temps drop into the upper-50s at night in south Florida, which is quite rare, you actually see winter coats, gloves, lines at the grocery stores, and comments about the coming of the next Ice Age.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the extra hours of sunshine and warmer temps of summer, but these would not be as precious to me if the other seasons didn’t do their thing. So, I’m glad to report that I have completely not answered the question du jour, because luckily, I don’t have one.

Frank Ruggiero: Doldrums shmoldrums

Winter doldrums got you down? Build a creepy snowman that looks like Michael Keaton.

Only once this winter have I allowed snow to get in the way of spontaneity. By spontaneity, I mean last minute plans. Heck, why should snow interfere with a spur-of-the-moment cookout? In fact, the frosty weather merely makes the prospect all the more enticing. Huddling around a blazing grill with a frosty beer clutched in a gloved fist might not be everyone’s cup o’ chino, but when it comes to enjoying winter for what it is – or what it isn’t this season – the outdoors are one of the best places to be.

While there is a comfortable appeal to sitting blanketed upon a couch with book and coffee mug in hand, as wind raps on the door and snowflakes drift past a mildly fogged window, there is a devilishly fun appeal to throwing a snowball at that person sitting blanketed upon a couch with book and coffee mug in hand. And who can deny the near dreamlike quality of snow falling at night in downtown Boone? The twinkling lights, bright white flakes and drunken bums slip-sliding along the icy sidewalks seem to compose an impromptu, yet masterfully choreographed, ice-capade.

No, winter is not something that should bring someone down, even though ice can do just that. Enjoy it for what it’s worth – make a snowman of “Calvin & Hobbes” design, use an icicle as an ill-conceived toothpick, build a snow fort around your neighbor’s car and hum the “A-Team” theme when he or she drives through it. And, most importantly, watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.

Caroline Monday: Spinning a Good Yarn

Caroline’s yarn collection has attracted an inordinate number of adorable kittens.

My enthusiastic response to cold weather is to crochet scarves for everyone I know. Every year around October, I realize that it is once again scarf season and I get very excited. I practically pillage Wal-Mart’s wall-o-yarn.

You can spot a signature Caroline Monday scarf relatively simply because, in many ways, they are all similar. I like to modify traditional crochet stitches so that they look new and exciting.

I look through books of stitches and find a new one I would like to try. I make the stitches my own by crocheting two different yarns at a time (with one yarn usually being of the fuzzier, chunky variety) and using the biggest available crochet needle. Add generous amounts of fringe and you’re done.

This technique blows up the size of the stitch and makes the scarf super plush and warm. I like to think it gives them a graphic quality. Plus, when you use a big needle and super chunky yarn, the project goes by very quickly.

Quickness is the key for me. Otherwise, I will never complete the project. Currently, I have approximately 18 different unfinished knit and crochet projects in the craft corner of my living room.

I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I will never finish those projects, but I will make more scarves, so I’ve begun salvaging the yarn from those projects to make scarves. Soon my craft corner will be cleared, and everyone with which I have a passing acquaintance will have a warm neck.

Melanie Davis: Long Johns

Legend has it that the first snow angel was created by a monk whose robe caught fire.

Snow is not a reason to stay inside. It is a reason to make a snow angel. I have never outgrown a good snowball fight and I don’t intend to.

While other people talk about the winter weather blahs, I have invested in several pairs of long johns. I simply bundle up and pretend it’s warm outside. Sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket is great for one evening a week. I crave activity, however, and have a dog that requires several rounds of fetch per evening. My apartment is not big enough to throw a ball longer than two Blue strides.

My recommendation for anyone suffering winter depression is to get outside and move around. Hiking in the snow is beautiful. The afore mentioned snowball fight is always hilarious. At least, until that one person nails you with an ice ball to the face. It is all fun and games until someone loses a front tooth. I am convinced there is nothing that can’t be fixed with fresh air and laughter.

Then after wearing myself out and only when my toes go numb do I go inside to the couch, a blanket and hot cup of tea.

Scott Nicholson: What I Did On My Winter Vacation

Dry heat is great for your circulation.

A great icebreaker for winter is to truly break the ice.

My friend Ron Rognstad has opened Long Hope Retreat in Todd, a gathering and retreat lodge, and one of its features is a sauna. One of the fringe benefits of friends is sometimes they own really cool things that you get to share. The ideal temperature for a sauna is somewhere between 170 and 230 degrees Fahrenheit, depending upon your level of masochism at any given time, and it’s practically a point of pride to not be the first person to burst screaming from the room (sometimes in flames).

After exiting the sauna, it’s a short trip to the pond for a quick and brisk submersion. Sometimes this means literally chipping a hole in the ice. A quick full-body immersion, followed by a couple of minutes shivering in whatever temperature nature offers at the moment, is great for constricting blood vessels, and you can stand under the stars and contemplate the gift of breathing. You feel crazy, but you feel great, and then you feel normal. Repeat the process at least two more times and you begin to feel giddy, transcendent, or near death, which may all be the same thing.

Our pet theory is that it’s perfect for ridding the body of bacteria and viruses because they quickly realize the host body they hitchhiked is being operated by a lunatic.